By Marsilius 
For individuals with vulvas, there are numerous types of orgasms, and even more ways to experience each one. You might know someone who only reaches climax during oral sex, or perhaps a partner who relies on a specific vibrator for satisfaction. What works for one person may not work for another.
Even if you have a preferred method, exploring new ways to orgasm can help you discover different sensations and understand your body better. According to Shannon Chavez, PsyD, CST, an AASECT-certified sex therapist and psychologist, variety is essential to avoid conditioning your body to just one type of sensation. Experimenting with different techniques can reveal numerous ways to achieve orgasm, including the possibility of a hands-free orgasm.
There are significant benefits to having an orgasm without direct touch. Chavez notes that hands-free orgasms enhance the mind-body connection through breath and movement. Focusing on techniques can sometimes distract from truly feeling the experience.
Meet the Experts
– Shannon Chavez, PsyD, CST, AASECT-certified sex therapist and psychologist.
– Vanessa Marin, LMFT, licensed psychotherapist and author of Sex Talks.
– Jess O’Reilly, PhD, sexologist and host of the Sex With Dr. Jess podcast.
Understanding Hands-Free Orgasms
A hands-free orgasm occurs without the use of your or your partner’s hands or fingers, and without holding a toy. This leaves your hands free to explore other parts of your body or hold onto something like a bed frame for support, as suggested by Chavez.
You can experience a hands-free orgasm during solo or partnered activities. During penetrative or oral sex, you can use your free hands to connect with your partner’s body, suggests Vanessa Marin, LMFT.
However, achieving a hands-free orgasm can be challenging. Marin recommends mastering orgasms with your hands first if you’re struggling. Despite the difficulty, beginners can try techniques like receiving oral sex or adjusting the shower head for a new experience.
Techniques to Try
- Grinding and Rubbing: Rediscover the pleasure of rubbing against objects like furniture, pillows, or a partner’s thigh. Jess O’Reilly, PhD, emphasizes the lost art of dry humping for pleasure.
- Oral Sex: Achieving orgasm from your partner’s tongue counts as a hands-free experience, and using your hands to touch your partner can enhance connection.
- Hands-Free Toys: Use toys designed for hands-free use, such as vibrators that stay in place, panty vibrators, or sex pillows to hold toys in position.
- Water Stimulation: Running water can lead to orgasm. Use a shower head or tub faucet for stimulation, ensuring the water is not too hot.
- Partnered Positions: Choose positions that facilitate clitoral stimulation, like woman-on-top, to enhance grinding sensations.
- Rock and Roll Technique: Move your hips and engage pelvic floor muscles to build orgasmic energy, a method developed by Betty Dodson.
- Erogenous Zones: Explore other sensitive areas like nipples or the neck for orgasmic potential.
- Mental Stimulation: Fantasize to trigger orgasm, though this may only work for a small percentage of people.
- Breath Work: Relaxed breathing and audible exhales can create a state of calm, enhancing the sexual experience.
The Journey of Pleasure
Orgasms, whether hands-free or not, are enjoyable and offer health benefits, but they aren’t always easy to achieve. Marin emphasizes that struggling with orgasm is common and requires familiarity with your body. Exploring your erogenous zones and moving your body can help you find what feels good.
Chavez stresses that sex isn’t solely about reaching orgasm. “Orgasm is a side effect of great pleasure,” she says. “It may happen multiple times during an experience, but the focus should be on the journey of pleasure.”
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