By Marsilius 
There comes a point in nearly every couple’s relationship when intimacy can start to feel a bit routine. This is perfectly normal. Even the most passionate relationships can lose their spark after years of the same sexual routine. It’s likely there are various sexual activities you’ve considered exploring but haven’t shared with your partner. Now is the perfect time to express those desires and bring some excitement back to the bedroom.
While the term “kinky” might bring to mind extreme images from pop culture, it can actually mean something as simple as playful spanking or role-playing. If you’re looking to spice up your sex life, there are numerous ways to do so, ranging from mild to wild. A survey of around 1,500 people revealed that 65% are open to experimenting with kink, while 35% prefer to keep things vanilla. Notably, only 24% of people in their twenties described themselves as “vanilla,” compared to 46% of those aged 50 and over.
Communicate Openly
Having a conversation about trying something new in bed might seem daunting, but it’s essential. Introducing new moves without prior discussion can catch your partner off guard. It’s important that your partner feels comfortable and excited, so enthusiastic consent is key before trying anything new. Start these conversations in a relaxed setting, perhaps over a glass of wine, to ensure both partners are comfortable.
Begin with relatively tame fantasies or role-playing ideas and consider asking your partner what they might be interested in first. This approach makes it about both your desires. When it’s your turn to share, be confident and positive about your interests. Make it clear that you’re not expecting this every time, just occasionally to change things up.
Explore New Ideas
Watching porn or reading erotica together can serve as inspiration and make discussing new ideas easier. If this seems intimidating, remember that popular literature like Fifty Shades of Grey gained its success for a reason. Your partner might be intrigued by such content even if it’s never been a topic of discussion.
Once you’ve agreed on new activities, consider alternating nights focused on each other’s desires. Starting with her preferences may encourage more enthusiasm when it’s your turn.
Get Creative with Kinks
You don’t need elaborate gear to add kink to your sex life. Light bondage, such as using silk scarfs or neckties, can introduce a sense of erotic restraint. Spanking can also bring a new dynamic, starting with gentle taps and gradually increasing intensity based on your partner’s response.
Edging, or delaying orgasm, can intensify the eventual climax. For those with a penis, this involves approaching climax multiple times without reaching it. For those with a vulva, using a vibrator can provide similar teasing sensations.
Role-playing can transform the dynamics of your relationship, offering a playful escape from reality. Consider a scenario where you pretend to meet as strangers at a bar, which can lead to exciting encounters.
Explore with Others
Introducing an ‘unknown’ person into the mix or being watched by others can add a thrilling element. Whether it’s inviting someone to join or simply being observed, clear communication about boundaries is crucial.
Sensory deprivation, such as using blindfolds or earplugs, can heighten other senses and intensify experiences. Gentle teasing with soft materials like feathers can also create playful and pleasurable sensations.
Prioritize Aftercare
Remember, the relationship is more important than any single experience. After trying something new, offer reassurance and affection, and discuss what you both enjoyed and what could be improved. This aftercare ensures both partners feel satisfied and willing to explore again in the future.
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